just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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