If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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