i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My liver just had a heart attack.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just had sex on a roof
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
