We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
