oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.