i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.