the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.