i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
