Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt