And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize