I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
