Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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