im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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