i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the day after is always just damage control
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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