I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
