i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
