their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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