Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize