How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
