Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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