dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
