I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
