I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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