I can text with my tongue
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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