i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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