I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
