i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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