Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
