You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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