she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
