ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
