...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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