I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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