I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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