Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
