Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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