Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
