It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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