It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
nutella sex= disaster
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
