you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
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I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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