Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
