he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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