Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
