yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
