She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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