And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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