She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
