U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
