Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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