normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
