She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize