I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
