I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How external is "for external use only"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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