i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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