Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
