so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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