then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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