About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
