can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize