We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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