Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
