So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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