4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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