dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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