I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
