And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
