I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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